Cranial Rummaging

We're Not Brazil

2007-05-27T22:28:00.001+08:00

Japanese Nationalism is Alive and Well...

2007-05-27T20:10:00.001+08:00

Trawling the pirate DVD wagons that skulk Shanghai's streets, I came across this gem of a movie. Presenting...

2007-05-23T12:06:00.000+08:00

Noisy Neighbours

2007-05-23T11:41:00.000+08:00

For almost a year we have lived a comforable life in our 23rd storey apartment. Large, bright and breezy, it was relatively quiet for Shanghai standards (although Shanghai's standard resembles Heathrow airport's front runway). The reason was our block had quite a few apartments as yet unsold, which went some way in proving the hypothesis: less people = less noisy neighbours.

A couple of months ago, however, there was a big sell-off as the developers wanted to fill the emptiness (had something to do with the Chinese government - possibly induced by Kellogs - threatening to stabilise house prices). All vacant apartments were duly snapped up.

I have since learned that the 10 empty places in our block were bought by the same company. Which is fair enough. It's a buyers market and if they want to spend untold millions on Shanghai apartments and sell them on at a profit, then fair play to them. What I do NOT like, is they are taking the approach of renovating all the residences AT THE SAME BLOODY TIME. Meaning power drills and hammers shrill and bang from early morning to evening.

The soon-to-be infamous Guangming Chenshi building massacre is not so far away....

Our New Rat - or - Worst. Haicut. Ever.

2007-05-23T09:40:00.000+08:00

Poor Rambo. Not built for the stifling Shanghai heat that permeates even the shadiest of retreats all summer long, we sent him for his seasonal haircut. That was yesterday, but I'm not yet 100% sure it is he who came back to us. The debate rages on - We are currently in the possession of a very bald Rambo2, or a very big rat.

before: hairy rambo

after: rambo the rat

The Great Cereal Conspiracy

2007-05-22T13:33:00.000+08:00

As the post communist China* embraces wanton globalisation, an influx of western concepts are gradually filtering into daily life, the best of which, of course, is western food.

Don't get me wrong, I do love Chinese cuisine (except cantonese food which is manky). I could happily gorge on pork and celery dumplings until the end of time, but always there remains a deep yearning at the pit of my soul for even half a slice of decent bread with some nice irish butter.

As the big cities in China grow more and more cosmopolitan, and as the newly established middle class - and also the newly established filthy stinking rich class - get out more, western food is growing ever popular. In Beijing, Shanghai and Tianjin, foreign restaurants and deli's are popping up like nobody's business.

And so it comes to pass that western cereal is finally moving out of the uber expensive foreign food stores - 70 kuai for some coco pops? I think not! - and into the more mundane Chinese supermarkets.

It may only be a few brands for now, but Kellog's is moving its flagship cereals into a supermarket aisle that until recently housed but a few bland nestle samples and a selection of oats. Cornflakes and Frosties, together again!

However, no silver lining comes without a cloud, and Kellog's are being very shrewd concerning the way their product is packaged; in true asian tradition, the cereal comes in individually packaged portions. Call me a fat bastard if you will, but I like my cereal shovelled into a bowl and then drowned in a sea of ice cold milk.

From the face of it, it would seem Kellog's are bent on saving money. "5 sachets" one reads. Surely a handsome amount of cereal for such little money? But NO. The only thing 5 sachets does is to multiply the air inside 5 times, detracting actual cereal room and keeping cereal levels at a depressingly low level. If these bright boxes of cereal weren't so damned cheap to begin with, we would have a problem.

As the price is not so high, we are faced with a more disturbing reality. What these individual packages equate to is yet another form of consumer control. They, 'the man', are saying to us, 'the consumer', how much we are allowed to eat at any given time. "You can have but one 30 gram portion of cereal. You can't have two, because that's just too much, and there is no point having one and a half because who's going to eat that other half. 30 grams it is."

One can only guess how high this goes in the Chinese government. Once the nation is hooked on cheap western styled breakfast cereals, there is no telling how far the mind manipulation and plebian control will go. World domination, surely, can not be that far away.

I will continue to eat these cereals. For now. But at the same time I will be refusing to conform to the 30g sachets, and squinting with determined defiance at all attempts the Kellog-PSB super alliance. Together we can fight the beast.

When they come, hide the spoons.

(*let's face it, there ain't nothing communist about China save for the repressive leanings of the red tape loving senile government)

New Best Drink Ever

2007-05-16T23:15:00.000+08:00

Drinking a can of Gina Mango Nectar and noticed a handy piece of advice on the side.

"Serving Size: 1 can." No kidding.
Mango Nectar rules!

Roberto's research

2007-05-04T10:17:00.000+08:00

Roberto Pedros Heanici, that eminent sports scientist, has spent a great many months looking at the staggering irregularities abundant in the FIFA World Football Rankings in regards to Northern Ireland. His data proves both informative and shocking as he dissects the league and walks his readers step by step through the many reasons why Northern Ireland is hard done by.

Roberto's findings.

I just don't like your face(book)

2007-05-03T13:53:00.000+08:00

As that lovable little ruffian Roberto Henis likes to point out, my blogs updates have been few and far between recently. I can no longer claim Chinese government interference as eblogger has been unblocked again.

What I can blame though is Facebook. Far be it for me to do some inadvertant advertising for another one of those friends-keep-in-touch website, but it's really good! Been talking with some people I haven't seen in years. The whole world and their dog is on it! I never joined the whole myspace movement, and I'm not sure why it was such a huge hit, but I can say that facebook is way better!

mum comes to china

2007-05-03T12:27:00.000+08:00

Me mam was over the other week!

My time in Asia has seen a variety of visitors tramp in and out, but not once did mum ever look like leaving the shores of Northern Ireland. Leave it she did however, and came over for a tour around China's big two, Shanghai and Beijing. The cynic in me would point out that it could have been a guilt ridden hastily tacked on trip as she was going to Korea to see number one daughter anyway, but I like to think she always intended to come see me!

The major driving force to this holiday was food; we ate a ridiculous amount of food as I tried to cram as much international cuisine into mum as humanly possible during her seven day visit. We got through a staggering array of Chinese meals (sichuan, hotpot, Peking Duck, Dong Bei, Hunnan), Japanese food (sushi, tempura, ramen - no teppanyaki though...), snacks, ice cream, coffees, and even time for a Beijing Hard Rock Cafe meal after walking the Great Wall. Great holiday, great food.

Oh yeah we saw a bunch of old buildings and stuff too.

Escaping the Wall

2007-04-09T16:39:00.000+08:00

Blocked again, but I've managed to procure the use of Seamus's dirty Mac while he runs half way around the world home in search of a Chinese work visa. It has some fancy programme thing to get around the Great Firewall of China that I don't rightly understand, but well, it's not for the likes of us to question how things work, is it?

Apparently it's Easter weekend, a fact that has sadly passed me by due, for the most part, to China's shocking lack of interest in chocolate eggs. When will this country learn? Choosing to celebrate the death (and consequent rebirth) of your spiritual leader by consuming large chocolate eggs is the way of the future! Wouldn't work for Ganesh though - all the eggs would melt in India. I do like the elephant head motif though.... perhaps we could work something out that includes both.

back to blog basics

2007-04-02T18:12:00.000+08:00

After more than two weeks, I am once again able to post! Due to the increasing power of bloggers in China, the government periodically gets cold feet about their nationals talking openly about taboo subjects and blocks various blogging sites. Like eblogger. Right so, for fear of further shut downs, I'll make a quick update, in point form:

Happy birthday to Jeni, whose birthday was last week. My present is, as always, in the post.

Fabulous few days of international football saw the mighty Northern Ireland (the best little team in the world) win away to Liechtenstein (1-4) and at home to Sweden (2-1)! Silencing all critics, St. David Healy was scorer of all bar one of Norn Irun's goals. Classic stuff.

Saw the amazing 300. It's great. I wanted to hurt things for days afterwards, but all Persian hunts I tried to organize did not materialize due to lack of interest. But I'll get them, mark my words.

We got a government! The cloud of idiocy has temporarily left our borders and the Reverend Ian is sitting down with Gerry in order to form a real live government for Northern Ireland! May 8th is the date, so here's to hoping we get there with no hiccups/Stormont fisticuffs/Michael Stone rampages. Just in time for marching season.

Finally bought a new cap. I'm very particular about my caps, and it takes me ages to find one I like. Last one was eaten by Rambo, the one before that was stolen by monkeys in Vietnam. Damn monkeys.

I'm struggling finding things to fill this list. Haven't done all that much. Poker night, lots of eating out, gym visits..... The weather was pretty nice though, until the other day when thunderstorms came.

Two TV Splitters. Oh yes.

SQQQIV

2007-03-19T20:07:00.000+08:00

this week's quote, actor (actress?) and movie please.

Why are they messing with me? Do they think I'm doing this for fun?

2007-03-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

Too many French people

2007-03-18T11:45:00.000+08:00

What can I say? If we hadn't allowed that last ditch try from the Italians, if O'Gara had kicked clear and true, if the Scots had held out for one more minute, today would have been so much sunnier. But the fact is France retained the Six Nations trophy, and gutted though I am it was a brilliant tournament this year and came down to the very very last minute. One momentary lapse of concentration a few weeks back lost us our first grand slam in aeons, but at least we can say, we smashed the English.

I hate the french.

rambo NI photoshoot

2007-03-16T10:42:00.000+08:00

Despite his Shanghaiese puppyhood, Rambo's sporting loyalties belong exclusively to the green and white of Nothern Ireland, the best little team in the world.

So in anticipation of the upcoming Euro qualifiers, first against our mortal enemies Liechtenstein on the 24th March, and then against mighty Sweden on the 28th, Rambo has kindly donned the colours for a photoshoot. I'll post more pictures as the dates get closer.

messy miki

2007-03-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

I know I've gone on in the past about how messy and destructive the White Ball of Fury is, but I feel it is now time to redress the balance. Not to exonerate him, don't get me wrong; he's still the messiest small dog I have ever clapped eyes on. What I aim to do here is give things a little scope, and provide the tyke with some company. This is a picture of our kitchen after Miki 'disaster area' Ren made breakfast one day. I eventually had to ban her completely from making anything, ever. And that includes cups of tea and coffee.

Saturday Quick Quote Quiz III

2007-03-12T23:26:00.000+08:00

This weeks SQQQ (on a monday..) is simply:

"This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. We must find this butt-hole that took the TV."

Fairly easy to guess I'd say.

Football news

2007-03-08T10:31:00.000+08:00

Recently took in some Asian Champions League action and went to watch Shanghai Shenhua take on the might of Sydney FC - the first time an Aussie team has played in the ACL.

The game started off pretty good, with two great goals from Sydney in an exciting first 20 minutes, but the action calmed down dramatically until the half time whistle, with play becoming a little patchy now and again. The second half went the same way with some scrappy periods, but picked up considerably in the last 15, when the crowd finally got behind their team. Shanghai repeatedly put the visitors under pressure and were rewarded with a goal seven minutes from time. Try as they might though, a late equaliser was never going to come. For more info on the game (for anyone who cares) you can read Cam Wilson's report here.

I've seen Sydney FC play once before (taking the New Zealand Knights apart in Auckland during the inaugural Hyundai A-Leauge), but this is the first time I've been to see Shanghai Shenhua in action. Not too shabby, but I hear all is not well in the world of Shanghai football politics of late; it would appear that Shenhua were recently bought out by the owner of local rivals Shanghai United and the two teams were combined as one. That would explain the jeering and cat calls from the Shenhua faithful directed at their own players..... more on that again from Cam here.

most important question OF ALL TIME*

2007-03-05T09:23:00.000+08:00

(*not really)

It was a question I thought obsolete way back in 1999 with the release of Mystery Men, but a friend of mine recently reopened that particular can of beefed up worms and asked:

What is the best Superhero Movie of all time?

My money is still with Mystery Men, although as it is concerned with a bunch of people who aren't super but want to be, some might argue that it's really an anti-superhero movie (it does have Disco Tony and Casanova Frankenstein in though).

My friend's vote lies firmly with Spiderman 2, and a damn fine vote it is too. Of course his girlfriend called us both idiots, but she comes from Slovenia so we were happy to ignore her mindless warblings.

So what does anyone else think? What the the best Superhero movie ever? Does Flash Gordon count?

"I... am the Waffler. With my griddle of justice, I BASH the enemy in the head, or I burn them like so! I also have some truth syrup, which is low in fat."

Rambo2 update

2007-03-04T16:00:00.000+08:00

Haven't posted any pictures of the White Ball of Fury recently,

so here's a few to show you what he's been up to:

drinkin'

playstation

watching the world go by

hunting for small children

people counting

2007-03-03T14:53:00.000+08:00

Came across something interesting at Shanghai Railway Station whilst en route to Suzhou the other day:

It's a people counter! This, ladies and gentlemen, is how many people are alive in China as of Thursday 1st March 2007, 13:34 (Beijing time). Well, according to Shanghai municipal government it is, who I assume commissioned the counter. 1.318 billion people! That's a fair number!

Saturday Quick Quote Quiz II

2007-03-03T11:49:00.000+08:00

Due to the internet making it oh so easy for everyone to find quotes in about 3 seconds flat without having a decent background of movie watching (read:wasted youth) I've had to dig a little bit harder. This should stump all for a wee bit (but probably not Reel Monkey Simon).

"At 0-four-hundred hours, Prisoners Boggs, Rains and Golic left on a routine foraging mission into the underground network. At about 0-seven-hundred hours, prisoner Golic re-appeared in a deranged state. Prisoner Boggs and Rains are missing. Unfortunately, there seems to be a good chance that they have met with foul play at the hands of prisoner Golic. We need to organize and send out a search party. Volunteers will be appreciated. "

For an extra point, name the actor that said it....

Everybody's dead

2007-02-27T23:48:00.000+08:00

HOLLY: Good morning, Dave. It is now safe for you to emerge from stasis.
LISTER: Haven't I just gone in?
HOLLY: Please proceed to the Drive Room for debriefing.
LISTER: Where is everybody, Hol?
HOLLY: They're dead, Dave.
LISTER: Who is?
HOLLY: Everybody, Dave.
LISTER: What, Captain Hollister?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Todd Hunter?
HOLLY: Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: What, Selby?
HOLLY: They're all dead. Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: Petersen isn't, is he?
HOLLY: Everybody is *dead*, Dave.
LISTER: Not Chen?
HOLLY: Gordon Bennett! Yes! Chen, everybody. Everybody's dead, Dave.
LISTER: Rimmer?
HOLLY: He's dead, Dave. Everybody's dead. Everybody is dead, Dave!
LISTER: Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody's dead?
HOLLY: I wish I'd never let him out in the first place.

-Red Dwarf: classic bbc comedy

Croke Park Thrashing

2007-02-25T13:19:00.000+08:00

...oooo....my head.....where am I.....vague recollections....lots of beer.....a sea of green....what....oh yes....

WE BEAT THE ENGLISH!!

And not merely 'beat.' Flicking the pooter on this morning I am greeted with the headline Ireland hammer England at Croke Park, and it all comes flooding back. Braving the February cold in the early hours of Sunday I trekked several arduous miles to the nearest Irish pub in Shanghai* and joined a vocal Irish contingent in cheering on the boys in green.

43-13: the biggest win over the English in 60 years. That's more than worth today's hangover. Having said that, however, I notice an unsettling development; because of the vile robbery at the hands of the French two weeks ago, and their win over a pitiful Welsh side yesterday, it means that they are odds on favourites for the Grand Slam. In order to stop them and crown Ireland rightful winners of the 2007 Six Nations tournament, they have to be beaten a least once. And let's face it, Scotland certainly aren't going to do anything about it (they have just presented Italy with their first ever Six Nations away win). WHICH, boys and girls, is a roundabout way of saying I may have to actually support England when they play France next week.

I don't know what to do. I've never supported England - shouted at them, cursed them, thrown things at the telly when they're playing, but never supported them! Think I'll just hide in bed and have a peek at the score when it's over.

(*truth be told I didn't have to trek anywhere. I took a taxi. And I was already out at a house party. And the night was unseasonably mild for a february.)

Saturday Quick Quote Quizz

2007-02-24T11:14:00.000+08:00

Name the movie.......

Sallow: Can't pass an old man?
Kidda: I didn't see him.
Sallow: You gotta know where everybody is, all of us!
Kidda: What if I can't?
Sallow: They'll crush your skull!

shanghai burns

2007-02-21T22:40:00.000+08:00

11pm on the 4th of January* and already Shanghai is burning. The night is pockmarked with the rattle of banger fire and the booming, coloured flashes of high powered explosive.

According to tradition, letting off personal fireworks at (or near) the beginning of the 5th of January will bring you luck and prosperity - and listening to the Shanghai night, that's an awful lot of rich folk. 'Course, a man more pessimistic than myself might point out that the only folk getting rich are the firework sellers who command ridiculous prices for their high verlocity wares...

From my apartment I can see a guy down at the crossroads of Aomen lu and Xikang lu with a few boxes, just standing there, setting them off by himself. Just one bloke, and the result is something that puts the annual Hallowe'en firework display at Omagh showgrounds completely to shame. It's a scene that is repeated as far as I can see; a scene repeated all over Shanghai, all over China! These people go mad for their fireworks!

A bunch were let off just below my apartment, and it's quite a feeling seeing a massive firework branch out just yards away, with only a pane of glass in between. I never thought I'd be standing above looking down on huge exploding fireworks! Having said that, the night is alive with coloured flashes and I'm sitting here tippytapping into a computer... a 10 year old Pete would be really pissed off with me.

I'm away to let off my share.

(* Chinese calander. In real terms it's actually late February)

Ethniklashistan

2007-02-20T16:04:00.000+08:00

A link to an article in The Onion promoting an alternative resolution to the world's most infamous trouble spots. Not overly sure if Northern Irish Protestants belong in the same boat as the Rwandan Hutus, or, for that matter, if all Northern Irish Protestants like to be called Northern Irish Protestants (Ulster-Scots, anyone?), but it's nice to see a different opinion to that usually trumpeted by Americans ("why can't you guys just sit down and talk about it?"). Benjamin Ray from Virginia, I'm looking in your direction.

Here it is: Ethniklashistan.

新年快乐!!

2007-02-18T15:33:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

Joining the throngs of festive feeling Chinese folk, Rambo2, Seamus and myself headed off to spend CNY with Miki's relatives. Red envelopes, beer, food, more food and fireworks were all on the menu, all of which was recieved, consumed or set on fire with titanic ghusto.

seamus, miki, me and miki's grandma

I mentioned before how fireworks of any shape or size, save the crappy little indoor kind, were banned until a few years ago in little Norn Irun. As kids in Omagh we had to make do with jam jars and petrol. Every now and again a fabled French Banger would emerge in the possession of a friend, prompting heated debates about how it should be used. More petrol was usually enlisted. Anyway, my point is this childhood of virtual boomstick poverty was a world away from what goes on in every city, town, village, hamlet and home in China - The New Year is met not just with a bang, but with a billion small explosions. People start stockpiling fireworks weeks beforehand and the entire holiday is punctuated with booms, pops and man made thunder - even as I sit here writing, one day after New Years, it still sounds like the Tet offensive outside.

When 12 midnight on New Years Eve rolled round, Miki's dad led us downstairs to a storage room that was FULL from top to bottom with boxes and boxes of fireworks. After a day of drinking round at Miki's gran's house, it was perhaps one of the most beautiful sights ever. We carried half the boxes outside to where everyone else was gathered, letting off their own. Here's a live action shot:

And here, via a link to youtube (I tried embedding it here. Tried and failed), is a wee vid of what it was like outside my apartment block - Just imagine it in complete 360 degree ear drum shattering glory. And word has it this wasn't even the biggest night for fireworks! Apparently the 5th day of Chinese New Year is much bigger. Don't have a clue why though. Hopefully my hearing will have fully returned by then...

新年快乐!!

no t for me

2007-02-18T15:26:00.000+08:00

You never realise how often the letter 't' is used when writing until it leaves your keyboard.

pay phone

2007-02-15T22:57:00.000+08:00

Phone

Outside a pagoda in Suzhou

New Years (gripe)

2007-02-13T23:23:00.000+08:00

China, as we all know, is a HUGE country in terms of both land and population. A mind blowing 1.3 BILLION Chinese souls stretch from the harsh northern province of Heilongjiang, all the way down to the balmy Guandong region. From the chaotic, skyscraper teeming Shanghai, to poor, peaceful, disputed Lhasa, a fifth of the world's people are scattered everywhere.

1.3 billion people. That's a lot of folks, all running around, working, going about their business, falling into love, out of love, and generally, living. Imagine, if you will, the sheer effort involved to keep a population of this magnitude in check. Complete anarchy can only be a vicious government rumour away. And, with the exception of, say, a few hundred million or so, each individual has a cognitive role to play in this massive undertaking, whether it's the guy on the street selling the cigarettes that oils the gears of social interaction which in turn keeps the hospitals in patients, or maybe the new woman manager of a ball bearing factory, sending her little steel balls of fun out to every movable and portative mechanism producer under the sun. Everyone has a purpose.

Which, ladies and gentlemen, begs the question: how does a country with a citizenry of this enormity completely shut down for two whole weeks?

It's Chinese New Year, and everyone save the sorry slice who work in the catering or entertainment sectors have gone back home for the holidays. It's a time for being with your family and eating as much food as humanly possible - much like Christmas in the west. This I have no problem with, but what I find bizarre is that in a country this size practially every business is closed for the entire duration.

Which of course is bad news for us and our fledgling wee export business. We have entered into a partnership with a factory in Suzhou; they have all gone home and we can't get in touch with anyone. The shipping company we use cease operations tomorrow, to be resumed at an undisclosed date. Basically everyone we deal with on the China side has stopped working. This, would be fantastic (holiday!) if we didn't have the other side - the customers - who live in the west and have no interest in what goes on over here!

But at least I get to play with lots of fireworks! (Until very recently fireworks of any description have been completely banned in Norn Irun . Something to do with the potential our resident paramilitaries had for abusing them....)

Goodbye fingers.

No Grand Slam for us....

2007-02-12T14:14:00.000+08:00

Heart-breaking, tear-jerking, piteous, bloody stupid. O' Gara kicked to put Ireland 4 points clear of France yesterday during an historic six nations match up at Croke Park. With a minute and a half on the clock, all the boys in green had to do was hold the line.

Shame no one told the lads that the game was still on. They figured it must be over, the victory was an Irish one and, by gosh, what shall I drink first to celebrate? The second to last play of the game and the horrible French scored, and then converted, the winning try. I hate the French.

It doesn't reflect the second half at all, with the 82,000 capacity crowd urging their boys on, and the Irish answering with some gritty play. They crawled back to a sketchy one point lead, then O' Gara's penalty on the 78th minute should have sealed the deal.

So no Grand Slam. I think we can still win the tournament, but we'll have to wait until next year for the Grand Slam. At least we'll beat England on the 24th......

Did I mention I hate the French?

2007-02-07T20:30:00.000+08:00

Another Bessy Bell pic. Under that normal looking exterior, Simon is wearing one of the worst jumpers in recorded history. In addition, Andy Wyatt was disqualified from the groovy hat competition for lack of effort.

2007-02-06T22:26:00.000+08:00

top of bessy bell 02/01/07

dreaming of the grand slam....

2007-02-05T01:22:00.000+08:00

WALES 9 IRELAND 19

Just watched the mighty Ireland in fine form slaying the Welsh dragon; Excellent game and an even better result! At the Millennium Sadium no less. If we can keep it up and beat France the Six Nations is ours, and even, dare I say it, the Grand Slam. I shouldn't think we'll have too much trouble beating that Johnny Wilkinson. Who does he play for again?

INDIAN AUTORICKSHAW CHALLENGE!!!!!!

2007-02-02T16:48:00.000+08:00

It's on! Miki calls us idiots, my mum has called us foolish, but the team form has been sent in, the money has been paid, and we are the most recent entrants of the 2007 Indian Autorickshaw Challenge Mumbai Xpress Rally!!

Consisting of the ever-exuberant Mr James Wright and myself, Team Tuk Tuk Tuxedo is gearing up to blow all other competition away on the wild highways and byways of India in the fine artform that is 150cc autorickshaw racing.

Team Tuk Tuk Tuxedo

Starting in Chennai, on the east coast, we burn a hole through the heart of the country, emerging in Mangalore on the west, before heading up to Mumbai via Goa. All in all, just shy of a mind-numbing 2000kms!! Check out the route (and his idea of getting ahead of the bunch) on James' blog here. And if you fancy reading about last years race (which was a pathetic 1000km), and your name isn't Evelyn Gordon, go here. A sample:

Although we weren’t in the grips of monsoon season there were still some spectacular downpours. Aquaplaning whilst waggling the hand operated windscreen wiper is particularly entertaining.

If anyone else fancies joining, though the cheap earlybird fee has gone, there are still available tuktuks. It's a tad expensive but it's for charity and will possibly be the bestest fun in the whole world. Ever. Bar none.

p.s. next step is looking for sponsors..... anyone want to rent some prime advertising space on the front of the winning tuk tuk?

28

2007-02-02T15:36:00.000+08:00

28th birthday a few days ago, so went out for some all you can eat/all you can drink teppanyaki with a few people. Along with the oiishi steaku, the ebi, okonomiyaki and other fine foods cooked from scratch right in front of us, we demanded a bottomless jug of sake with accompanying beers. Much merriment was made, especially by Seamus, who was celebrating the conclusion of his first day at work. Too bad his second day of work started early the next morning....

So another year has passed under the bridge. Do I feel older? Hell yes! Seems like only yesterday I was asking people the way to the Students Union in Preston - that was nearly 10 years ago! Retirement would be just around the corner, if ever I had a proper career! And happy birthday also to Simon, who, as luck would have it, celebrates his birthday on EXACTLY the same day as me. Who would have thunk it?

Birthday night with two danish girls and one random beggar. Ain't life grand.

A Star is Born

2007-01-31T21:11:00.000+08:00

Famed Hollywood director Ang Lee (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon/Hulk/Brokeback Mountain) is currently shooting his new movie in Shanghai. Co-starring Hong Kong big wig Tony Leung and the great Joan Chen, it has at its helm an as yet untapped source of talent.

Me.

I got the opportunity the other day to go west of the city and chew up some scenery on the set of "Lust, Caution" (which is a literal translation from the Chinese, "Se Jie"), which is a movie set in World War II and has something to do with spies and espionage and so on, though being Chinese it will probably involve a convoluted love story of some design. And when I say chew scenery, I do of course mean in the sense of being an extra and walking around in the background, foregorund, and generally standing around looking cool, but I did get to wear a snazzy suit and have my hair slicked back.

This was a quick snap as photos were absolutely forbidden from the set, and anyone caught being snap happy had their camera/phone confiscated and all pictures deleted. Thats the price you pay when working with a Hong Kong crew. Apparently.

Though I didn't actually get to speak to the big man, we did exchange a smile and a knowing nod at the beginning of the day, a mutual acknowledgement towards each other's greatness no doubt. From then on it was fairly standard "stand here and when your man says action walk over there," but on the second last scene of the day, fellow extra Alexander and I took it upon ourselves to change the direction of our path, and even laboured on our start point for a few seconds after the camera started rolling. We felt it added a certain something to the overall effect - not to mention maximising our chances of being on screen. It all went a bit pear shape when our new and improved course saw me walk into the leading lady not once, but twice, prompting a rather heated "CUT." Doh!

All in all it was a good experience, and I got paid to stand around all day and see how a movie gets made. Having said that, it was a very long day (up and out by 5am) and my feet and back were knackered by the end, and on top of everything it was bloody cold. So when they asked me back the following day I politely declined; I feel my mark on the movie world has been well and truly established. All that is left to do is sit around the apartment and wait for Hollywood to call.

Other Great Things I've Been Paid To Do:

Watch the 2003 FA cup final. Was living in Cardiff so signed up to do silver service waiting at Cardiff's Millenium Stadium, but they were really over-staffed so shoved 20 of us into a small hot dog stand. I decided I wouldn't be missed so got paid 50 quid to watch Chelsea vs Arsenal
Police Line-up. I didn't actually play with Sting, but Preston police officers used to lurk outside the Students Union of the prestigious Universtiy of Central Lancashire, offering students a tenner to take part in a line-up. Basically translates to free beer.
University. I attended Uni a year before the introduction of tertiary fees in the UK, so the Western Education and Library Board paid for my formative years in Beer World. Sorry, University.

time of your life

2007-01-28T16:44:00.000+08:00

Mr James Wright, high-flying London consultant to the stars, has achieved what I have not. Rather, he's been arsed to do what I have not, and taken the few vids knocking around from Noo Year, spliced them together and put music over the top to produce one nifty little 75 second vid. Good job Mr Wright!

Watch and love here.

And then visit his blog to read his charming brand of comedic office poetry here.

Rambo vs The Computer

2007-01-28T13:53:00.001+08:00

As we have a tendancy to eat out these days, and given Miki's penchant for shopping, The White Ball of Fury(tm) is often left to his own devices. Sometimes he is content to while away the hours sprawled on the couch, dreaming of giving chase to smaller dogs. Mostly, however, he searches the apartment for something of value to destroy. Clothes, handbags, candles, plants, anything within reach and that he can get his teeth into.

Last night we hopped over to Seamus's new pad near Xujiahui for a quiet housewarming party and I was silly enough to think that, having not destroyed anything for a few days, he was older and wiser. So I left my computer on the living room couch (we just got wireless so I can use my pooter anywhere!), not sparing it a second thought.

Thankfully he hadn't reached the actual computer by the time we returned (although I did brush some suspicious looking dirty paw marks off the keyboard). The machine is, however, out of service until I can pick up a Dell power cable from somewhere, and I am on a borrowed pooter courtesy of Miki's ma.

As well as my power cable, it has emerged that the little bastard went through a USB flash disk, a deck of cards, the bathroom mat and three plants. And we have had enough. Rambo has ruined everything in the house, and it is time for him to go. We've packed up all his stuff, his leads, some food and his guitar (Rambo is a pretty mean guitar player), and shown him the door.

Goodbye and good luck Rambo 2, you cute whirlwind of terror.

Up in smog

2007-01-25T17:28:00.000+08:00

After munching down all manner of pills and evil foul smelling brown liquid stuff in the name of regeneration, I have emerged from my sick bed fighting fit. Well, nearly fighting fit. Time mends all things they say, but what they don't tell us is how long for - a few hours after I gave myself a clean bill of health my nose chose to announce it felt a cold coming on. I need to eat me some more fruit.

It's a Thursday, and life in the big smog meanders pleasantly along, as is its wont, despite the ridiculous levels of air pollution playing merry hell with my respiratory system. I have started to think I've caught the cold deliberately so my breathing is restricted. Last week Shanghai was covered with a smothering fog that closed down the highways for a while, and the city even went so far as to issue a Yellow Fog Alert, which means visibility was down to less than 500 meters. Nice.

For those of you on Seamus-watch, the Irish boy-wonder has found himself a job selling insurance and a run down apartment in closer to the black heart of the city , so will be moving out of our spare room/photo studio tomorrow. .....

And, last but not least, a little bit of fun for all you sadists out there. Seems like the White Ball of Fury(tm) has had enough of his master, and has bitten the hand that feeds. Little tyke.

China Chicken Massacre

2007-01-25T16:52:00.000+08:00

HUNDREDS of chickens have been found dead in east China. A court has ruled that the cause of death was the screaming of a four year old boy who in turn had been scared by a barking dog, state media reported. The Jiangsu court ruled the boy's screaming was "the only unexpected abnormal sound" and that 443 chickens trampled each other to death in fear.

sick day

2007-01-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

I'm sick. Sick as a diseased rat in an exotic climate. Aching limbs, fuggy head, lungs full of a vile and distressingly colourful stuff. But thats probably too much information. I also have a desperate inability to get warm in this city, where central heating is still a fantastic and futuristic concept. Be warm all the time?? Not wear coats inside?? Surely that is the talk of heathens!

To ease my discomfort I decided to spend the day under a blanket on the couch, catching up with my pirate DVD purchases. A few episodes of Deadwood series 3 seemed to do the trick, along with Blood Diamond and Telladega Nights, but when it came to the apparent jewel in my collection things took a turn for the worse.

Digging around at the back of the shelves at my local dodgy DVD purveyor last week, I came across a Japanese movie that should have, by all rights, been the best movie in the world ever. It's name? BLIND BEAST vs KILLER DWARF! I mean, with a name like that it couldn't fail but to be the best movie ever, right? Wrong. It turned out to be a ridiculous detective story that didn't make any sense whatsoever - the two characters that lend their names to the title, the blind beast and killer dwarf, never actually meet each other, never mind have a fight. And, for that matter, the 'blind beast' is just a normal bloke who wears dark glasses, walks hunched over and has hair covering the backs of his hands. It does have a dwarf in though, which is pretty awesome.

2007-01-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

Monday 15th January
Visibility: Sweet FA

il Divo MkII

2007-01-14T00:45:00.000+08:00

Very probably the band to watch in 2007. We specialise in classic Meatloaf along with other assorted 70's hits. Each member is multi-talented and can pull off scorching air guitar solos at a moments notice. In addition we have more or less perfected the art of air piano. We Rock.

More pics from the festive season here.

Something for the holidays

2007-01-13T14:58:00.000+08:00

Alright guys, here's a recruitment drive for ya..... Who is free the first few weeks of August, and would like to spend it having the shits in India, RACING AUTORICKSHAWS!?????
Have a gander at this:

http://www.indianarc.com/

No going to India on a tourist package and getting ripped off by nasty Tuktuk drivers here! This way you go, see some jungles, cities, coastlines, all from the comfort(?) of your very own autorickshaw that you use to ge to the finish line before anyone else.

Myself and the resilient rat race survivor Jimmy Wright are definitely in, but we wanted to see if anyone would like to join us - more people more fun, as the saying goes. Probably.
It's not cheap, and of course the entrance fee doesn't take into consideration the flights there and back, but it will be an unforgettable holiday. And hey, you get to hang out with me and Mr W.

Check out the website and if it floats your boat, tell me and sign up! If you do it before the end of January there is a sizeable discount, so dust off those credit cards and play with the overdraft!
(p.s. as a bonus, the money from the contest goes to good charities for Indian nippers)

dancing fools and slapping robbie

2007-01-08T01:25:00.000+08:00

Still no pictures, but here are a couple of vids for your viewing satisfaction, one taken on New Years night, the other a day late at the top of Bessy Bell, a hill outside Omagh which a few of us hardy folks climbed on the 2nd, after drinking till the early hours of the morning for three consecutive nights. Well done us. Except Jimmy Wright, who whinged for ages about his 'town shoes' and 'fancy coat' when we had to clamber over a four or five felled trees. Wuss.

I don't possess the tech-na-mo-logical know-how to embed them onto this site, so I'm linking you to youtube.

The first, for the sadists among you, is subtlely named Wapping Robbie in the head with a christmas cracker prize, and basically does exactly what it says on the tin. Notice how the boy wonder does not even flinch as a plastic periscope cracks off his noggin. And notice also, if you will, how he looks NOTHING LIKE JAMES DEAN, as he outrageously claims to.

The second Dancing Fools, is another self explanatory video which will look a lot better if and when I get round to putting music over the top of it (will take me quite a while to work that one out). Till then it's best viewed with no sound at all - or, if you want, hum something cheerful and carnival like.

Okay everyone, enjoy the vids, and remember that too much youtube can damage your eyes. But don't forget to have a look at Chad Vader, which is great.....

piracy killed the video star

2007-01-07T18:25:00.000+08:00

One thing I love about coming back to China after a few weeks holiday, aside from getting stuck into mountains of lovely dumplings, is the collection of new DVD's on offer from the shady movie shops and grungy street dealers. Today I picked up no less than 7 recently released monsters from Borat to Jackass 2, United 93 to the lipsmackingly delicious D.O.A, as well as a couple of golden oldies to boot. Nine movies in total. The tab, I hear you ask.... it all came to an astounding 63 kuai, which translates to 6 Euros 30 cents! (I work in Euros now because its much easier to convert). I think you'll all find that I do, in fact, win.

disclaimer: video piracy is theft, hence wrong, and is I do not endorse, condone or promote it in any way shape or form. I can't wait to watch Borat though...

Home for the holidays

2007-01-06T21:38:00.000+08:00

The festive season over, Miki and I are back in Shanghai, wearing multiple layers of supposedly warm clothes but still managing to freeze our asses off trying to muddle through the tatters that is our internet business, which was put on the backburner while we went out and had fun fun fun for three weeks.

Christmas was a blast, and New Year even better. Home for the first time in nearly two years I took full advantage of the resident cook (mum) and thus spent the duration in an orgy of eating and drinking. Christmas eve saw an impromtu gathering of many friends from my Omagh glory days, and intentions of rising early Christmas morn all fresh faced and Christmassy were effectively scuppered well before last orders. The Beer Monkeys had their way, and I was grudgingly torn from slumber with an angry hangover, only to gag at dads mulled wine, of which he is so proud. Santa brought a watch though, so that made it all better. Well, that and some industrial strength headache pills from China. And several pints of water.

With Miki in tow, I spent some of the time in a rental car showing her the beautiful countryside of Northern Ireland (and Donegal), although most of the time it had to compete with a book of Sudoku puzzles, and I'm not sure if the scenery won. Plus, next time I do a drive around Ireland, I think I'll do it in summer - in the winter night falls around 4pm, and the Antrim coastline just isn't as striking in the dark...

The annual "New Year Party At The Gordons(TM)" this year had a few less revellers than usual (combination of Jeni being in Korea and me having Scottish friends), so we downgraded it to a Gathering and renamed it "The Gordon's New Year Gathering Of Lyke Minded Individuals Wyth Fun Endeavors And Myghty Thirsts(TM)." Everyone made a concerted effort and alcohol consumption managed to exceed previous parties. Random drink induced hijinxs also hit an all time high. Some highlights, good, bad and ugly:

- Low numbers allowing a massive sit down dinner courtesy of my mum
- Robbie Heaney's frankly shameful comments that he is the spitting image of James Dean
- Jam coming in full bananaphone man gear
- Shirts, hats and Timesplitters
- Simon's early exit (though he probably had a good time)
- Seamus's bizarre "let's pour Sambuca on sleeping people" routine
- A smoking rendition of Bat out of Hell
- An over-eager Paul Townsend turing up with less than eager girlfriend (from Swindon), much to the hilarity of the rest of us. Perhaps it had something to do with everyone telling her how crap Swindon is (and only Andy Wyatt has been there)
- Roxanne drinking song that I won. Probably.

Er, this is quite frankly all that I remember. The rest of you who were there that night, please fill in the quite sizeable gaps..... photos to come once I find them..... Happy New Year everyone!

pub quiz

2006-12-21T18:15:00.000+08:00

Went to the Hogsheads Christmas pub quiz last night. We lost pathetically, and even missed out on all the raffle prizes. I suspect a conspiracy, a conspiracy some members of my team were part of - DR Congo?? I ask you!

I did learn of a somewhat alarming development however - since Jam got confirmation of his job with Ryanair, he feels compelled to palm off second rate pilot jokes to all and sundry. A dark dark cloud has passed over this world.....

Oh, and vegans are stupid! But I guess we all knew that anyway! Any vegans out there prepared to comment? Thought not.

congratulation jam

2006-12-19T06:24:00.000+08:00

Congratulations to James A. who successfully passed an interview with Ryanair to become pilot first class a few days ago.

James : Well done old boy. All those years of 'hard-work' and 'dedication' have paid off.

Everyone Who Flies Ryanair : Be afraid, be very afraid.

Mr&Mrs A. : He's going! He's leaving home! You must be over the moon!

dublin musing

2006-12-19T06:13:00.000+08:00

Standing outside the Louis Vuitton shop in Dublin the other day looking poor and waiting for Miki, Yoshi posed an interesting, if slightly random, question -

Do midgets have super powers?

Additionally, through the course of our musings, the question was raised whether the outcome of a fight between

a) a normal sized man and a giant ant

and

b) a normal sized ant and a shrunken man

would be the same. Answers/reflections in comment form please.

the yosh man cometh

2006-12-19T05:31:00.000+08:00

Been at home for a week now, and already resemble a fattened hog. Spent the first few days indoors, watching as Northern Ireland tried, with no inconsiderate amount of success, to become the worlds biggest puddle. It made no difference to me, as I was quite content to munch on everything and anything edible and within reach, and bask in the fuzzy glory of the world's most brilliant idea - central heating! Asian countries take note.

The last three days were spent chugging about in a rented car. In the original plan, I had foreseen a trip designed to take in the glories of the West coast and show Miki the rugged beauty inherent in this fair country. That plan was scuppered when, on the back of a hastily stuck together flight of fancy, Becky Feeny and the Yosh-monster flew in to say hello so we all went to Dublin and sat in various pubs, drinking. My old mate Seamus showed up. Merriment was made.

I should point out at this juncture to those outside the loop (of knowledge) that Becky and Yoshi are friends of mine from when I was in Japan and who currently reside in Dundee. They wanted to come over at New Years for our giant party, but plans to visit Yoshi's family got in the way, so they came over for a blink-and-you'll-miss-'em weekend whirlwind jaunt. After our night in Dublin we headed North, back to the civilised world, to visit another Japan alumni, Robbie. Another night in the pub saw a very bored Miki who got fed up listening to our Nippon reminiscing after the third hour, but she consoled herself the next day by purchasing a foot long German sausage for lunch in Belfast the next day. No jokes please.

Three days, two capitals, many many beers, but no pictures. We forgot our camera and Becky is a modern day luddite who keeps digital technology at an arms length claiming "sure I'd just break it." So we bought a disposable that will probably never get developed. But it was a good weekend.

2006-12-09T22:54:00.000+08:00

Saturday's Random Interesting Fact

2006-12-09T10:59:00.000+08:00

The westernmost side of Kazakhstan is closer to Hamburg than it is to its own eastern border. Fancy that!

Survival of the Fattest II: stratagem

2006-12-08T18:15:00.000+08:00

Good planning is key to a successful buffet experience. Here I offer up five key tips for gaining that extra foothold:

Grab a central table. I can’t stress this enough people. A central table is essential to any successful buffet maneuver, which can become quickly jeopardized by too much walking. Walking is your enemy! Leaving aside the fact that on your fifth trip to the dessert counter you won’t want to be carrying that bulging stomach very far, the further you are from the food the more plates you’ll have to carry. Thus, any number of things can quickly go wrong. You may drop some of your carefully chosen fare, even a whole plate, even multiple dishes! Or you may miss a whole section in your haste to get to the meat. Heaven forbid, your food could be cold by the time you get back!

The meat counter is your best friend. Vegetarians have no business in all-you-can-eat buffets. It is, essentially, all about the meat. Locate the main meat counter upon entering, and as soon as you can, strike up a rapport with the chef. All it takes is a subtle "I like your hat" or "my what a big piece of meat you have." From then on whenever you approach he will have the choicest cuts, the biggest servings ready and waiting – without this understanding the best you can hope for is to command a mild repulsion from him. They hate to give away their succulent slices. Obvious exceptions are the meat buffets (like the Brazilian Steakhouse) where the meat comes to you, but really these are only for beginners and those on the Atkins diet.

Value for money. Maybe not high on the agenda for those who peer down from their lofty perches at the rest of us and spit, but for mere mortals, value of money is an important factor. As you would guess, many all-you-can-eat places are not cheap – they can’t be if the food is to be of a sufficiently high standard. Economy buffets will no doubt serve food of dubious hygiene and suspicious origin - kind of like France - and are to be avoided at all costs. If your buffet is more expensive than you had first thought, hit the most pricey foodstuff first. If they have caviar, grab a bowl, even if you don't like it. Polish your shoes with it or something (caviar makes a surprisingly good boot polish).

Take the all-you-can-drink option. Some places like to offer cheap fare but charge through the nose on drinks. These cowboys should be stopped! Always ascertain whether you can drink your fill as well as eat. If so, cocktails and wine all the way - an odd beer is fine to wash down some salty treats, but at the end of the day will take up too much precious stomach space. Alcohol is another good way to extract value from the meal.

Take a newspaper. Whether in a group or on your own (yes, on your own. There is nothing wrong with going to an all-you-can-eat buffet by yourself), it always pays to have some reading material handy. Should you eat your fill before being satisfied, you'll want to burn some time in order to ready yourself for another onslaught - remember, three journeys to the dessert counter is respectable, four is world-class. In addition, say you are waiting for the kitchen to cook another lamb joint, you'll need to keep yourself occupied. Conversation can only take you so far, for sooner or later a lull will crop up, and it is in these lulls that doubt sets in; the breadstick demons will grab hold and temptation will pound your skull like an out of control jack hammer. Many a hardened resolve has crumbled during a five minute wait. Keep your mind busy and you can beat the breadstick.

Next: mind your manners!

2006-12-08T11:55:00.000+08:00

I originally posted this back in January, but seeing that
a)back then I had about two regular readers
b)the fact that I have recently re-discovered it
b)I wish to inflict upon my friends many many many wasted hours
here it is again - THE FALLING SAND GAME . Great stuff. The simplest of pleasures include building a huge oil reserve and then watching it burn, pixel by tiny pixel.

the message messiah

2006-12-08T11:27:00.000+08:00

I was wondering why no one was leaving messages on this thing. Quite a few hits (I count more than 10 as quite a few hits) and not one message. However, it has just been pointed out to me, in no uncertain terms, that people aren't allowed to leave messages as I haven't enabled it. Silly Peter.

Anyway, I have now, so go ahead, leave messages. I know you want to.

simon's friends

2006-12-07T22:17:00.000+08:00

Simon with his new best friend, 7 foot tall Big Show. (And smaller friend Alex)

Thursday

2006-12-07T19:23:00.000+08:00

Thursday today - The weather was really really bad. Visibility was down to 3b (as in I could see a maximum of three buildings away) and from our balcony I could only just make out the ground, 23 floors down. Not sure if it was a perpetual mist, smog, or a toxic cloud - probably a mixture of all three. Nothing much really happened today. Business was slow and my only source of amusement was the White Ball of Fury who went a bit mad.

Only 4 more days and myself and Miki leave on a jet plane back to the motherland to enjoy home cooking and a 'proper' Christmas. By proper I do of course mean the polar opposite of last year, which was spent in New Zealand (see here). Beautiful blue skies, a warm sunny atmosphere and turkeys cooked on bbq's. It's just not right! Miserable cold and wet weather with the odd frost - THAT'S a Christmas. Makes you really appreciate the hot food and alcohol.

THE CHALLENGE update

2006-12-07T15:29:00.000+08:00

Over a week since I wagered my erstwhile brother an expensive bottle of whiskey to the one who collects the most postcards from Scandinavia by the 1st April and the score as of today, the 7th of December, stand:

Peter - zero
Simon - zip

So, at the minute it's anyones game. Simon has a slight advantage seeing he has a special Swedish friend returning home next week who is dedicated to quenching his thirst. I got her alone on msn for a while and plied my charm, hoping to turn her from the Dark side (it's a pretty well established fact that Simon stands on the side of darkness), but alas she would not fall. The Swedes I count as friends are still in Shanghai, and much as I enjoy their company, they're no use to me here - GO HOME AMBJORN. And send me some postcards.... I'm off to visit Swedish chat rooms and put forward my case.

Survival of the Fattest I

2006-12-05T22:30:00.000+08:00

Part one in a series discussing the many dangers inherent in the all-you-can-eat buffet, and advice on how to avoid them. Read closely; the information here may save your life one day….

There is a certain special feeling involved with the all-you-can eat buffet, an exalted, gluttonous celebration of Jacobean proportions; slabs of shimmering meat, acres of glistening sushi, the multihued decadence of the dessert corner. The pure excess of wall to wall food is enough to make a fat man weep. Filling the cracks between the stagnant one style ‘speciality’ restaurants like ‘Thai’ restaurants or ‘pizza’ parlours, it exists as a fairy tale world where elven feasts are realized and the banquets of Neverland are brought to life in full flavoured glory.

Of course, there are rules. With such an abundance of foods in the one place there must be rules. You can’t go bounding into a professional buffet room all guns a-blazing, stacking your plate with anything and everything that comes to hand. Many a novice patron has run wild with voracious glee only to succumb to the many pitfalls inherent within. Superfluous fillers and malevolent breadsticks lurk at every turn, as do fancy foreign pastries that, though cute and pleasing to the eye, serve only to conceal a centre of pure evil.

Though I now stand before you as a hardened buffet vet, I must lay claim to my shameful past; I too was once a pasty faced all-you-can-eat greenhorn. As a skinny and innocent 14 year old, barely ready to meet the world, I was thrown into the deep end during an exchange trip to the southern US state of Louisiana. I will save you the brutal details, but suffice it to say, they were not pretty. The disdainful pity received from my American counterparts is something I recall in my nightmares to this day.

I learned the hard way. Walking into an all-you-can-eat buffet is not like walking into a normal restaurant. It is walking into a war, a vicious bloody war that pits you, your digestive system and, by god, your dignity, against an avalanche of foods. As commanding officer of your performance you must lead with a level head, a steady nerve and a constitution of iron. As any good general worth his salt will tell you, if a war is to be won, you need to have a damn good battle plan drawn up in order to win it.

Next time: War games.

Rambo 2

2006-12-01T23:38:00.000+08:00

Here's Miki's homage to Rambo, that crazy loveable ball of white fur whose only mission in life is to ruin every little thing we own and piss in all the corners. Isn't he a cutie!

little rant

2006-12-01T22:50:00.000+08:00

Just spent three hours on the bus coming back from Suzhou where we were forced to waste yet another day in the name of forwarding the business. I hate Suzhou. Just as I hate train stations that stop selling tickets after 7. And I hate people who have accidents causing ridiculously long traffic jams and making a one hour journey last over three. Surprisingly though, I don't hate buses. I like buses.

down-and-out Vader

2006-11-30T10:30:00.000+08:00

An oldie but a goodie. Darth Vader hits hard times.

Watch watch bag bag cheap cheap

2006-11-29T18:58:00.000+08:00

Intended to go Christmas shopping today, but ended up wandering aimlessly around the labaryinth like markets of Qi Pu lu for hours on end, stumbling along with a million other people up and down the aisles of the massive shopping centres. I'm not sure how many department stores line Qi Pu road - one fairly concise estimate was 'a whole heap' - but each store is chocked full from basement level 2 to 5th floor attic with little shops selling clothes and apparell of all manner. Girl's clothes, men's clothes, kid's clothes, midget clothes* - thousands and thousands of different items, and after 4 hours I can honestly say it's all crap. (*Disclaimer: May not actually have been midget clothes)

Qi Pu lu was originally a place for wholesalers, but since the closure of the infamous Xiang Yang market this summer, the myriad of salesmen, touts and purveyors of dubious wares have been forced to graze at the city's other market places. In turn, like a good flock eager to be fleeced, the foreigners and tourists who depended on Xiang Yang for their ready supply of fake goods and shitty souveniers have followed. And, if I am allowed to take this analogy a little further, the influx of new consumers has brought with it their own parasites: the damned Xiang Yang cockroaches.

And I'm not talking about the skanky insect kind of cockroaches, the kind that strike fear into the heart of even the most foolhardy of people (me), I'm talking about the uber-annoying "hello, you want watch, bag, DVD, cheap cheap" touts who try and drag you to some shady shop or other to sell their stock of counterfeit goods. These bastards stick to you better than a bad dose of the Vietnamese clap (so Jimmy Wright tells me), incessently harping on about going to their shop, armani sweaters, polo t-shirts etc. And because of the relatively small amount of foreigners who visit Qi Pu, they prey in packs! It's fake goods touts in STEREO at Qi Pu!

Anyway, besides getting annoyed by said cockroaches, and besides not actually getting anything resembling a Christmas present whatsoever, I did manage to pick up quite a few cheap flowery shirts and a couple of T-shirts, so, I believe I win! Hurrah!

THE CHALLENGE

2006-11-28T11:02:00.000+08:00

Sidestepping our usual idle chitchat on msn the other day, my brother Simon and I began discussing the nationalities of people we know. The results of this conversation, despite shining light on the fact that between us we don't really know an awful lot of people, pointed out that at the minute the both of us are acquainted with one or two persons of the Swedish persuasion.

Thus, taking this to the natural next step, we decided on a little wager.

We each have until April 1st to recieve as many postcards from the Scandinavian countries as possible. Postcards must be sent from the region, and it's 1 point per place. Anywhere in Norway, Sweden and Finland is eligible, and we've even decided to throw in Danish towns and things at 1/2 point per place, just because they have nice bacon.

Come April 1st, all postcards will be verified, and the loser will buy for the winner a fine bottle of triple distilled Redbreast Irish Whiskey.

As you would think, I'm as keen to see my brother vanquished like a foe of old as I am to wet my whistle on some fine Irish whiskey. However, I know the likelihood of this blog being widely read in any of the Scandanavia countries is about as likely as me winning the Miss Mongolia competition this year (although I was close runner up last year), so I'm asking any and everybody who reads this (except Simon) to search their old friend base and see if they can't convince an old comrade or two to send me a postcard!

All help appreciated. Oh, and one more thing - Simon hates small kids and he kicks puppies. So if you don't do it for me, do it for the children....... leave me a comment if you want to help. Together we can beat him.

Got my vote

2006-11-26T21:01:00.000+08:00

Flotsam & Jetsam

2006-11-25T15:43:00.000+08:00

Here are some old blogs and things that I have scattered around the place, some with a few entries, some with a bunch of photos. Some with sweet FA! More of a convenient place of linkage for myself, but feel free to waste a few minutes.

Flickr - My flickr account, which I don't pay for so adding things is a slow process, about 20 pictures a month. Currently around the 50/60 mark.

The Exalted Wanderings of Penfold The Merciless - Set up for me to keep friends and family up-to-date while I trampled the globe from Omagh to New Zealand via Siberia, China and Japan. I didn't get very far.... In fact I think once I left British soil I left a total of one actual real post. Still, the intention was there.

Zombies Ate My Face - A short lived group I started on Yahoo groups to exchange witticisms with friends. I was too witty and they all abandoned it after a few months. One last ditch attempt to attract visitors by posting a few porn pics failed to re-spark interest.

The Deadly Art of Penfold - A MySpace site I started with one blog entry (ironically joking that I would probably ditch it after one blog). Started basically to appease Miki. Has some photos.

Bebo - I have a bebo site. Good to keep in contact with a few friends but besides that doesn't shed much light on anything. Some photos.

A smart shop assistant is worth her weight in gold...

2006-11-24T21:03:00.000+08:00

This evening I accompanied Miki to the chemists and assumed a bored boyfriend stance outside while she bought some flu fighting drugs within. As she was lining up at the till, one of the assistants - there were about ten in this largely deserted shop - noticed me outside and reflected to her friend that there was a foreigner hanging around. Upon learning that I had come with Miki she asked Miki if I had come from Europe as I looked European. Miki, who has become used to people asking if I'm American, was somewhat suprised and praised the assistant for her observational skills and worldly knowledge, and posed her one further question; whereabouts in Europe do you think he comes from? "Australia?" was the procumbent answer........

Map of China

2006-11-24T16:12:00.000+08:00

Here's a nice big map of China for no other reason that I like maps and I reckoned it might look a bit good here. I'm in Shanghai, on the East coast.

Chinese Muslims

2006-11-24T14:57:00.000+08:00

The islamic faith came to China over a thousand years ago, brought by Arab traders and deposited like silt along the fabled silk road. Today there exist, according to some 'experts,' 22 million muslims in the People's Republic, still a relatively minor number when considering China as a whole, but to a wide eyed country boy from Omagh, it's a pretty staggering number.

Most of these muslims live way out west, in the huge expanses of Xinjiang and Qinghai provinces, but over time many have filtered through to the east coast cities to form small communities. Wandering around a decently sized Chinese city, these muslim quarters are particularly evident from the shop signs in traditional sanskrit, the occasional domed mosque, and especially the people. Brown of face and usually seen under a small white cap or shawl, the men sporting long thin beards.

From what I can see of my travels around China, these muslims are more often than not connected with basic food shops - mutton shish kebabs on the street, small spicy noodle soup shops - so today I asked Miki if they as a people, generally speaking, were attached to any other buiness sector. Nope, she said. Just food shops. Are you sure, says I, unwilling to accept that out of 22 million people, the only thing they were known for was sprinkling cumin over barbequed meat. After careful consideration she told me that they did have quite a sizeable claim to one other sector:

Robbery.

So from thieving and cooking lamb, allow me to introduce to you, the Chinese muslim peoples. Ain't stereotyping a bitch!

Nightmares and dreamscapes

2006-11-24T10:15:00.000+08:00

I had a nightmare last night. As usual I can't remember most of it, but the gist of it was some Chinese gangster dude was torturing someone and I stepped in to stop it, so he cut off most of the fingers on my right hand. Which wasn't nice. I then spent the rest of the dream going from situation to situation bemoaning my lack of digits (it's no laugh trying to play playstation with one hand sans fingers). Thought that was the end of it but I ran into said Chinese gangster again before I woke up - actually having said that i don't think he was Chinese. Probably Albanian like that git who robbed me in Russia. Anyway, we got into another skerfuffle and I had a brief moment of pain as he wrenched out one of my teeth before I woke up.

So what does this mean? Is it my subconciousness warning me I shouldn't try to help anyone? Am I terrified of deformities (well yes, obviously. Except midgets.)? Maybe a spectre from my past is contacting me for some grave reason. Or maybe I just had too much cake before going to bed.

mmmmm cake. oh, and does 'being a midget' count as a deformity? Reflections please.

Filling in the blanks

2006-11-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

Amnesia is a bitch, ain't it? Let me try and recreate the happenings of the last 9 or 10 months...

February - after quitting the casino I went to work in a propery valuers, in the midst of a giant project to revalue every single house in Auckland. I split my time driving around the city valuing property and entering said values into a computer back at the office. It was nice to know I was directly influencing the New Zealand economy despite my severe lack of training (and professionalism: "How many bedrooms does that house have? Dunno. It's big. Let's say 5. And throw in a swimming pool for good measure. Must be nearly lunch time, and I saw a pub round the corner ....").

March - In March I did a few things. Started going out with Miki, who also worked in the casino, and quit my high flying property valuers job to go a-travellin' with my parents who arrived sometime around St Paddy's day. Headed south.

April - Still travelling New Zealand with the folks, heading down the west coast of the south island, before cutting across and meeting up with Miki in Christchurch. Parents left and herself and myself went on to Queenstown to live for a while. First apartment was soaked in luxury and had spectacular views, but the hideous co-tenants drove us out within two weeks. Continued my work as an International Superstar Blackjack Dealer at Skycity Queenstown.

May / June - For some reason that escapes me we packed up and swopped our house in the serene mountain wilderness of Queenstown for an apartment in the chaotic urban wilderness of Shanghai, completely missing the ski season (which was half my reason for moving there in the first place. Oh well).

July / August / September - Living the good life in Shaghai, getting fat and spending money. Opened a private school to exploit student idleness during the summer holidays, earned a ton of money, lost it all in the casinos of Macau on a visa run, started playing gaelic football. Got a dog, called it Rambo, it died after 24 hours, so got another dog and called it Rambo 2. He is still with us and pissing everywhere.

October - this month I can sort of remember most of, being that it was last month. Jen came over from Korea for a few weeks, which was nice. Went to the Shanghai F1 among other fun endeavours. I along with the Shanghai Saints B team walked away from the All-Asian Gaelic Games with the Bowl. Not bad for a Norn Iron Prod, eh? Gradually stopped all classes from the school to start a different sort of business with Miki. I now sell wedding dresses to New Zealanders. Who would have thought?

November - Ah, up to date! Dress business has gone from strength to strength, I decided to go home for Christmas, and it was Miki's birthday yesterday. And the weather has got really really cold and it hasn't stopped raining for about a week.

There you have it. It's a little sketchy, and I'm sure I must have done a whole shedload of other stuff besides this, but right now it should be enough to assure you that I am not dead.

Feb to Nov in one swift post

2006-11-23T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hey look at this! I have a blog. Forgot about it, along with the half dozen or so other ones I started. I even have one that consists of nothing but a title. Cool, eh? Plus a bunch of photo sharing sites. Anyway I like the name of this one so I'm going to keep it. Maybe I'll link to all the other flotsom i've left to die along the way.

Oh, by the way, we're heading into the end of NOVEMBER now, and a lot has changed. Stay tuned for a brief rundown.......

Celebration of Life, Nature and Unemployment

2006-02-11T13:34:00.000+08:00

Finally quit my job as International superstar Blackjack Dealer, to become, shockingly enough, and unemployed international Superstar Blackjack dealer. It's great - I get to sit around all day, do nothing and watch tv, sparing a thought every now and then for the poor multitudes who have to go to work each and every day. My heart goes out to them, it really does.

But enough about them, back to me. I quit my casino job partly because I wanted a semblance of a social life back; even if that meant sitting at home watching the telly with one or more of my housemates, at least I wouldn't have to clamber into the car at 7:30pm every night and drive to an 8 hour shift. The other reason was the customers - I grew to hate them with a passion, a factor that increased exponentially over Christmas with all the extra business due to the plebs being on holiday (I remember those). On the whole obnoxious, arrogant and rude, there is something strange that happens when a person sits down at a casino table; they might be the nicest person in the world, but once they assume the position on the stool they tend to undergo a transformation into a tit. A great big tit.

Despite this I have to say I loved my 6 months as an International superstar blackjack dealer, and its something I'll never forget. But it's time to move on, because at the end of January I turned .... (dramatic music) 27.... 27 long years walking God's green (and let's face it, these days somewhat polluted and chaotic) Earth. And to celebrate I had a kiwi BBQ, and went to the zoo. For whatever reason there was a reggae band playing(name of Katchafire for those NZ reggae aficionados), and me, the monkeys and Jake the Elephant all had an excellent time. Thank you for asking.

This quite egoistical and indulgent celebration of my birth was followed by a week of camping New Zealand style, which involved rocking up to a wonderful beach on the Coromandel, 4 hours to the East of Auckland, with my housemate Mark, and spending a week doing a lot of swimming, fishing, and sitting. Lots of sitting, I can't emphasise that enough. Lots. Kiwi camping is basically you drive to the coast, erect a huge tent, have everything you normally have at home save the telly, computer and toaster, and then do nothing. Personally I like it. Of course I thought we were going for the minimalist wilderness camping where you have nothing but your wits and a trusty pen knife to survive, thus I was woefully unprepared. This had nothing to do with the fact I don't own many useful items..... Anyway Mark basically had two of everything in the back of his Big Yellow Car of Fun (tm) so I was grand.

27, camping under the stars beside an awesome beach in the middle of nowhere, New Zealand without a care in the world.

Ain't life grand?

killing time

2006-01-14T09:02:00.000+08:00

Okay people, I hope you've all got a few hours to kill, because I present to you THIS, a hideously addictive 'game' where you just.... mix water sand oil and salt... once you work out different things you'll be hooked. Enjoy.

http://chir.ag/stuff/sand/

Christmas fun

2006-01-09T10:02:00.000+08:00

Now that we've had the moping 'poor little peter has to work Christmas' post I'll tell you what I got up to during the festive season. Managed to insert some fun and frolics in between the casino...

Christmas Eve
Since I had today off I decided to immerse myself in tradition and do what the generations of wise Biblical-type folk of yore did during the Christmas period (probably). I got together with some friends and indulged in an all day, winner takes all session of Texas Holdem Poker. Excellent stuff, especially when I was the winner and I did take all! Drinking Wild Turkey all day long, and got home after 12 to have some Christmas drinks with my housemates.

Christmas Day
Seeing as I was the furthest from home I could possibly be on this world, I joined another family for the day. My housemate Jo invited me to spend Christmas day with her family, who live on a farm about an hour south of Auckland (third time out of Auckland in five months!). A veritable feast-o-rama, with dinner making two appearances and a whole pavlova mysteriously disappearing, last seen beside me. A very nice day with some very nice people, marred only by the fact I had to leave early and drive back to Auckland to begin work at 00:05 am boxing day! Nasty nasty casino. I'll have to take Jo's brother in law, Philip, up on his offer to go possum hunting...

Boxing Day
whats to tell? I had to work two shifts because of the day off on Christmas Eve. midnight to 8am, home for a little sleep, then more work at 8pm to 4am. And on a day when I should be nursing a hangover, watching the telly, and eating remains of Christmas Day dinner. Pish.

New Year's Eve and Day
Working again, and the casino was so stuffed it was verging on the stupid. BUT I got to deal in pit 4, where all the expensive tables are, and because of the lack of high rollers, got to talk to random people and watch the cabaret show they put on. Not bad. Promptly went out at 4am and drank till 9 or 10 (not sure), which turned out to be a big mistake seeing I was working again that night. The words "I can't go on" crossed my mind more than once that night I can tell you.

So all in all a very.... different Christmas. Certainly not one of the best, but by the kindness of Jo and her family it was saved from being a total disaster! One thing its made me think about is working at the casino. Its been a lot of fun and definitely a good experience, but perhaps its time to ditch this night work bullshit...

The Christmas season in New Zealand

2006-01-09T09:33:00.000+08:00

A very strange festive season this year, almost a non-event. Reason one being that down here in the nether regions of the world summer has arrived so glorious sunshine and a gentle coastal breeze take the place of the dull soggy air and frost of Norn Irun and the knee deep snow of Toyama. I've never counted myself as a stickler for tradition, but I just feel wearing shorts and remarking "my isn't it just a fabulous day" is not an integral part of Christmas!

Reason two for the lack of yuletide enthusiasm comes again from the fact that it's summer - Christmas is part of the holiday, rather than the reason for the holiday, and it all gets a little diluted when the whole summer thing is going on at the same time. Despite the shops closing, little is changed in Auckland on Christmas day, judging by the amount of traffic on the roads. On the other hand, maybe I should just sit back and enjoy the barrage of different holidays coming at the same time, Christmas drinks around a barbeque, carols sung at an outdoor festival ....

The main reasons for the relative quiet this year come with three and four; reason three, pretty self explanatory, I was on the opposite side of the world to my family, which is always a bummer; and reason four, its hard to brim with festive cheer when standing behind a blackjack table dealing with gambling addicts! Yes, I worked most of the holidays in the casino, because save for Christams eve and day (Christmas day is one of only three days in the whole year the 24hour Skycity casino is closed) I was allowed no holidays whatsoever! So, while everyone I knew wined and dined, left Auckland, barbequed, went to the beach and basically celebrated their socks off, poor little Peter was going into work each and every night and dealing cards until the wee hours of the morning. Poor poor, poor Peter. What's that noise I hear....? Why its the sound of lonely, sympathetic violins playing just for me. Well, I'll just have to cut my losses, take my time and a half pay (with days in lieu) and lick my wounds in the corner.

Looks like we got ourselves a reader.....

2005-12-31T10:03:00.000+08:00

This season I have been mostly reading:
- H.P. Lovecraft
- Ronan Bennett
- Invisible Monsters by Chuck Palahniuk
- In Your Dreams by Tom Holt
- Sean O' Casey Plays
- the fabulous Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks
- and, as always, continuing my Terry Pratchett addiction

What I want for Christmas

2005-12-14T18:53:00.000+08:00

I don't own a playstation 2. I don't have the money for a playstation 2. but if I did, I'd get resident Evil 4 and this.....

/www.chainsawcontroller.com/

Why wasn't this around when I was young and able to coerce my parents into buying me stuff?

The spirit of Christmas is not dead - it's just been severely mauled by a chainsaw....

Awesome.

Headhunted

2005-12-09T12:03:00.001+08:00

Got offered a job today, which is nice. It's the same job I was thinking about leaving the casino for in January, but they had another, more urgent space to fill. Turned them down though, seeing as I want to work one more month as International Superstar Blackjack Dealer, and learn one more game before I quit. Its a nice feeling to be able to pick and choose jobs. Shame I don't have any money.

have to go, the Simpsons are on the telly.....

hungover and moody

2005-12-07T09:13:00.000+08:00

Teeter.

For those of you not 100% savvy with the entity that is Jennifer Teeter, I say to you now, you don't know how lucky you are. Out we went, into the night of yore (yesterday) and drinks we drank. Merry we made and drunk we got, helped in no small part to the teets using her vocal capabilities to woo a moderatley crowded bar in a Karaoke contest, and once Justonian decided he could face up to the girlfriends wrath and went home, we somehow ended going round to some random guy's house with the express purpose of watching Liverpool v Chelsea and drinkning Absinthe. I woke up on said random's couch this morning with a thumping headache wearing a Liverpool shirt that I'm pretty sure I don't own, only to find a distinct absence of Teeter anywhere.

This in itself would not have been overly alarming save for the fact that she had to catch a plane at some stage in the early afternoon.... so myself and Perry, a guy who Jen had picked up earlier in the week (as she is wont to do), spent a few hours freaking out wondering where the sam hell our girlie had got to. Long story short, it turns out she had woken up, picked my pocket for house keys, and legged it back, getting to the airport on time (I assume). Having been familiar with the teetahhh and her habits in days past I was pretty sure this was what was happened - not so her boy toy Perry. For all intents and purposes, he went a bit mad. I'll not go into too many explicit details, but suffice it to say at one stage, when we were waiting for the bus (no money for a taxi), he 'vented' his angst by a spot of impromptu busking - standing on the side of Aucklands main shopping street and singing in a very loud, very uneven manner. Luckily I was too busy trying to make the world stop whirling to care much...

Teeter, your name does indeed mean trouble in every language under the sun.

But we love you all the same.

Safe home.

Word Hate

2005-12-05T08:26:00.000+08:00

The word most hated by me in the entire English language has to be that dispicable, most heinous utterance, 'boyfriend', as in "I have a....". It's just not on. You see a girl, approach girl, waste an alarming amount of chitchat and time on said girl only to eventually ask her out and get the reply "I have a boyfriend". I hereby vote that all cute girls with boyfriends should have it tattooed into their face so the honest, hard working folk like you or I (unless you have a girlfriend) know not to waste precious time chatting them up. And girls, boyfriend or not, I think you owe it to yourselves to give Pete a chance.....

Mo' Car Blues

2005-12-04T09:15:00.000+08:00

There were a few reasons why I bought the car I now affectionatlety refer to as 'shitbucket'. One was the cost - it was the cheapest at the car auction. Another was its perceived reliability and the fact that a common-as-muck motor would mean easy and cheap parts if and when I needed them. However, in all honesty, I'm not proud of it, but I'd have to say that I was seduced because this particular Ford Laser included electric windows AND central locking. What can I say, I'm a sucker for the mod cons.

Therefore, given the general condition of the car, I was not surprised to find that after a few months of loving missuse the windows on the right hand side of the car stopped working - not a huge problem in itself, but the fact that the back one was halfway down at the time was, well, a bit of a pisser...

Now, contrary to popular belief, there are advantages to having a window down all the time, and they include, but are not limited to,
1)Permanent air circulatory system, good for those long hot days.
2)Less hassle when locking and unlocking the doors - no fumbling with keys, just slide your arm through the open window and pop the front door lock.
3)A bin bag marks your car as distinctive, and to have a car that stands out in an otherwise mundane vehicular world is all important in this day and age.
4)It acts as conversational piece - 'Hey you left your window down', 'no I didn't, it's just knackered.' Endless variations.
5)Gives me extra ammunition to throw at Jimmy Wang.

Of course, it's not all roses. There is the continuous worry of theft, as apparently, experts have informed me, it would as easy for a thief to open the car as it is for me. I know, it surprised me too! Also, the inside tends to become saturated with rainwater when I forget to put the attractive binbag cover over it. And having a permanent air circulatory system is all well and good, but it does get a tad chilly now and again, like at 4 in the morning when I return home from work.

In the end I decided that I would have to do something about the windows. The front was easy as it was merely a dodgy switch at fault, so I rewired it to be controlled from a different switch. the back, however, was a little more tricky; I took the panel off the door and you would not believe the size of the motor it takes to put an electric window up and down! It's huge! I studied the schematics, took careful notes and measurements before ripping the bastard out. The window is now held up by a length of wood and an empty plastic water bottle. Chances of it ever coming down again are slim to none.....

The Humanity!

2005-12-01T15:53:00.000+08:00

Got my car back today in working order, so no more bus to work and having to blag lifts home at four in the morning. Turns out the distributer was, in a word, shagged. As are my expenses after forking out the dough to get it fixed! Bloody cars. When wil those boffins learn to invent teleporting - are not the prototypes already there in TV land? I'm pretty sure they have the money, and there's nothing else as important as teleportation, so they certainly have the time, so where is it?? If I want to go to France, I want to go there NOW damnit. Not that I want to go to France you understand, but if I wanted to, then I would prefer to go straight away. You get my drift.

The sickness

2005-12-01T15:48:00.000+08:00

My 'friend of German' status was slightly tarnished today when I got a telling off from Evelyn, my German housemate, for calling in sick to work last Friday. Had a party to go to, so I had a conveniently timed eye infection, the cure of which involved a six pack of beer and a skinful of vodka. Best remedy ever, if you ask me. Anyway, I still am 'friend of German,' I just don't happen to share their work ethic. I'll just have to make the excuse more viable for Eve as well as the casino next time....

Foo Fightin' & Car Trouble

2005-11-28T08:49:00.000+08:00

Went to see the mighty FOO FIGHTERS last night. A two hour set in a big tent with a bit of a light show and all their singalong classics? Cracking stuff, marred only by my car finally giving up the ghost a little bit before. There I was, chugging my way down the Great North Road, nearing home, when my engine suddenly becomes a mite confused and starts to splutter. Pulling into the side it finally died and hasn't been heard of since - I am currently getting a bus to work and blagging lifts of people at 4am. Course, it could have been a lot worse, as I had just come off the motorway (no hard shoulders) and also had the great sage Justin Alves in my car, who had just happened to sign up with the nice people at AA (the automobile one) the previous week, thus we were able to call out a man in a yellow truck and get a free tow home.

In addition, an unexpected visitor made her way down here for the Foo's gig - known to the world as Jen Teetahhh, she called me up a few days ago from the airport, completely out of the blue, right when I was nursing a monster hangover. She's still here.

Friend of German

2005-11-25T11:52:00.000+08:00

That's right, these days I am an authenticated 'Friend of German'. One of my housemates is of the Germanic persuasion, and has her friends over to visit on a regular basis. I figured that when I got to know six of these people I would truly be Friend of German. Gonna make myself a badge and everything. Something extra for the old CV.

Lessons learned in life (Part 1)

2005-11-19T13:07:00.001+08:00

Things I've learned since arriving in New Zealand:

1)Contrary to popular belief (mine), Auckland is not the capital of New Zealand (It took me two months before twigging).
2)There's more to Blackjack than reaching 21. Granted, not an awful lot more, but more.
3)Pepe Lopez is a killer.
4)On your first day of work for your first job in over a year, don't be an hour late...
5)Despite your best efforts, you simply can't befirend people when you're taking all their money away from them.
6)Germans are people too.
7)Never, ever, buy a car from Jimmy Wang. I cannot stress this enough.

A working life for me

2005-11-11T12:54:00.000+08:00

It's not easy settling back into a working way of life after travelling for an entire year without a care in the world. In fact it sucks, and I don't like it at all, but alas and alack, it has to be done....

So, after a brief and boring spell at ASB bank doing some mindless credit control pap, I decided to go in for a drastic pay cut to get a little bit more excitement and learn something new in the process. Thus, I took on my current job as professional Blackjack dealer in Skycity casino, downtown Auckland. Three weeks training is all it took to qualify me as a dealer on three games - BJ, Tai Sai, Money Wheel - and though the excitement level quickly dulled with the many hours of repetitive Blackjack hands, it still beats sitting by a computer and phone for 8 hours a day.

As I've bemoaned to anyone who'd listen, the main problem of this job lies in the atrociously anti-social hours I am to work - 8pm - 4am, with my weekend being Tuesday and Wednesday! And what, pray tell, am I supposed to do with a Tueday and a Wednesday? So basically nowadays I sleep all day, get up when everyone is finishing their working day, and head off to work when ordinary folk are thinking about bed to emerse myself in the deadbeats and filth that choose to be at a casino at 3am on a Monday morning! Oh the humanity!

Thus, my plan is to work on at the casino for a another month or two, enough to let me learn a new game, and then blow that chickenshit outfit, as the man said. But don't tell Skycity that....

My new home

2005-11-11T12:39:00.000+08:00

I came to New Zealand almost four months ago, my express intention being to travel around the country and see all there is to see. I got slightly waylaid however, due to a slight lack of funds (travelling through Russia/China/Japan, having a big fine to pay in Japan and not working for a year all contributed to this), so my work/travel New Zealand has for the time being turned into work/live Auckalnd.

Auckland, in my humble esteem, is not a bad place to be for a few months. As far as big cities go, it is a lot cleaner than most, and the huge amount of coastline allows it to 'breathe' better than other places. The people seem friendly, and there is a huge Asian population, which suits me as it means good Chinese food.

So my plan for the time being sees me settling here for a few months at least, maybe as many as 6... and, if nothing else, it's bloody nice to have a bed and a room all to my own for a change - travelling the world and sleeping in the dingiest hotel room, on people's couches, trains, buses etc, takes its toll eventually.

Greetings

2005-11-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

Hello to all you gorgeous multitudes who have made it to this page, a page destined to be full of wonderous and amazingly random crap, anything I see fit to squeeze out of my head. Not sure what exactly will appear on it as it'll be made up along the way. Anyway, enjoy.